I am writing this on New Year’s Eve, the last day of the momentous year of 2014. I treasure this past year in my heart but am glad is behind me. It has now been nearly 7 months since David’s passing and each day I am amazed and humbled by the supernatural peace God continues to give me as I navigate these unfamiliar waters. It is becoming more real all the time that David is not coming back. I sure miss my best friend! So many times I have some tidbit of news to share and he is the one who would be most interested…and his loss hits me again afresh. Hallmark Greeting Card commercials on TV used to make me get teary; now it is the tenderness of the Cialis ones!
Yet at the same time life is moving on for me and there have been many joyous happenings in the second half of 2014. I am now spending Wednesday afternoons into Thursday evenings over in Grand Rapids helping care for my grandchildren, “the Three E’s”. Ella turned 2 in September and reminds me so very much of myself at that age…except she is much cuter. Easton and Emelia are 7 months old today and are thriving after their rocky start. It is such fun to see their little personalities developing!
In September I joined local friends on a bicycle tour in eastern Portugal; David and I had previously participated in European bicycle trips with this group. David was riding on my shoulder the entire way as I enjoyed the time for both of us. This experience of “getting back up on the horse”, so to speak, went far better than I had dared hope. Next year it sounds like Poland or Norway will be our destination.
It is downsizing time at the big house as I work at scanning documents, thinning, divesting, tossing, and giving away much of what I have in order to fit the rest into a space less than half the size of David’s and my home for the past 25 years. I am excited about this condo development that is being built on the former Holland Country Club site. My unit will face a nature preserve through which winds a stream that could get me to Lake Michigan if I had the strength and a shallow boat. Next fall it will be ready. I plan to put my house on the market in mid-April. In the best-case-scenario, the house would sell about the time I can move into the condo but I need to be prepared to have 2 homes on my hands or to be “homeless”, depending on the timing. To quote my late father, “Don’t worry. It will all work out.”
I am at the Fargo, ND airport writing this after spending 10 days with my dear mom who has an apartment here. Who would have ever guessed we’d both be widowed within a year of each other! Being together was good for both of us this Christmas. We were able to talk about the joys of past years’ Christmases and, at the same time, look ahead to our redesigned lives. Now I am flying to the Florida townhouse for a time of warmth and relaxation. David is ever as present there as in Holland which is a great comfort to me.
Thank you for your prayers and loving care which have held me up and now help me move onward. Our entire family as well as his friends miss David but his perspective on life and the way he lived his faith has given us all the strength to face our tomorrows (and our todays) knowing that the good Lord is with us every step of the way.